I don't know what to think anymore. Logic seems to be draining out of me. Technically, I am a physicist. I am now a magazine editor of a science journal. All the books that I've read, all the scientific articles that I've written and edited, and all the scientific laws I have studied seem unreal at the moment.

I am not the religious type of person but I can say that I have enough faith in me. As a scientist/physicist, it is always hard to come into terms with both sides, which are a part of me. However, at the moment I simply want to be just an ordinary person who feels fear and remorse.

Then he went on to say to them: "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom; and there will be great earthquakes, and in one place after another pestilences and food shortages; and there will be fearful sights and from heaven great signs." Luke 21:10-11

After Ondoy struck Metro Manila, causing 277 deaths, then comes a large tsunami at Samoa that caused 119 deaths. And just a few hours later, a powerful earthquake terrorized Indonesia, causing at least 75 deaths. And now another typhoon that is about to enter Philippines is threatening to become a supertyphoon.

Typhoon, floods, quakes, and tsunami -- all these happened just within a few days! It makes me wonder, is nature finally getting its revenge?

Read the sources below:

Ondoy death toll rises to 277
Death tolls at 119 in Samoa
Powerful Indonesia quake kills 75
Pepeng threatens to become supertyphoon
Typhoon, floods, quakes, tsunami within days
Flooding photos
Flooding photos 2

Since the calamity (Ondoy) started, I have been firm in my belief that this is not the right time to be pointing fingers at anyone. I think it is easy to put a blame on the government and anyone who may have played a role in all these. I thought it's a waste of time. And that we should be helping each other to get back on our feet rather than ranting about our worthless and heartless government.

Well, I was wrong.

Right now I want to point fingers. I want to blame the government. I want to curse them. I want them to rot in hell. I want everyone who has been involved in the waste of every taxpayer's money to die a slow and torturing death.

Why?

A report from the Business Mirror has made me more aware at how ruthless our government is. Apparently, the flooding has been foreseen more than 30 years ago by a study conducted on areas in Metro Manila, according to architect Felino Palafox Jr. It could have been prevented.

Read the report here.

okay na angkapatid ko. salamat po. stranded sila sa UERM noong sabado ng tanghali. naging mabilis ang pagbaha sa may sta mesa kung saan siya nagtatrabaho dahil sa nabiyak na pader ng katabing ilog ng UERM.

kasagsagan nun ng malakas na ulan, alalang alala kami kay gerard. text siya ng text. tumatawag. nagkakagulo na raw sa UERM. nagiiyakan ang mga tao. nagtatakbuhan. may ilang namatay.. inakyat na raw nila ang 4th floor ng building para lang maging safe sa mga nangyayari nuong araw na yun. sinasabayan pa to nung pagaalala rin sa min. mataas na rin ang baha at pinasok din ang loob ng bahay.

hindi magkanda ugaga si mama sa pag iisip kay gerard. pati si papa. ako. kami.

kayat nagmatigas sila papat mama. kesa hayaan daw ang kapatid ko doon, nagayos at nagbihis sila para sunduin si gerard. sa kabila ng malakas na ulan at pagbaha.

agad ko kinontak si gerard. sabi ko susunduin sha nila papat mama. tigas ng mga ulo. pero siyempre nagaalala lamang sila. sabi ko sha na ang tumawag kina papat mama at mismong magpaliwanag sa kanila, na hindi ito ang tamang oras at paraan para makauwi na sha ng bahay.

ayos naman, napakiusapan nya. pinagalitan lang naman niya sila papat mama. lol. bibigyan pa siya ng pangalawang iisipin kung magmamatigas pa sila. hindi sila superheroes.

ginabi rin ng uwi sila papat mama kasama si henry. o ha? dahil sa kulit nila. pati sila ay naki lusong sa napaka taas na baha. masayang masayang kwento pa nila tatlo pag uwi. experience daw. ngayon lang daw sila naka experience ng ganun. tsk ondoy nga naman oh.

gabi na nun nung kontakin na namin si gerard. nagising. natutulog na pala siya. pgod na silang lahat. parang nanlulumo ako sa kwento nya sa texts at tawag. wala raw silang kuryente. tipid na tipid sila sa mga pagkain. pinaghati hatian daw nila ang isang basong oatmeal. tanging emergency lights lang daw ang ilaw nila noon. nag aalala ako. di sanay sa ganon ang kapatid ko. maarte kasi si gerard.

umaga nung linggo ng magising ako. nasa amin si boyfriend nun. paggising ko, masayang nalaman ko sa kanya, na nakauwi na raw si gerard. =) tulog, nagpapahinga. salamat. =)

agad ako bumangon. tinuloy ko na yung una kong ni plano. ang magluto ng carbonara. 4th year anniversary namin ni bi ep. bumagyo. hindi ko mailuto nung sabado yung carbonara dahil wala si gerard. naiisip ko siya. gusto ko, nasa bahay si gerard kung gagawin ko ang carbonara.

gising na si gerard habang nagluluto ako. gutom na gutom. tamang tama ang pagkakataon. nagkwentuhan kami. nagbahagi siya ng mga kwento sa akin.

at ayaw na nyang ulit maranasan ang mga nangyari. nakakatakot .

------------


diko lubos maisip kung mapapano na amg taong nawalan ng tirahan. napanood ko sa balita kanina. kabi kabila ang mga balita tungkol sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo. napakarami nila!! tulungan natin sila. hindi naman tayo makalipad at may lakas para sagipin ang lahat. maari natin silang ipagdasal na sanay makaligtas na. at pakikiramay sa mga nawalan ng mga mahal sa buhay.

nagpapasalamat ako at ligtas si gerard. pero patuloy pa rin ang dasal sa mga biktima na sa hanggang ngayon ay nakakaranas pa rin ng gutom, pagod at hirap sa mga naiwan ng bagyong ondoy.


salamat.


-- babols chua (http://twitter.com/babolschua)

Listening to:
Feeling:

I don't know what to say. For the first time in a very long time, I'm actually at lost of words to express how I'm feeling right now.

I feel devastated. What happened in the last 72 hours is depressing. It's just so heartbreaking that I want to cry. Still I'm thankful that my whole family in the province is safe. My friends in the same province are also safe. My boyfriend and his family are safe as well.

My heart goes out to all who have lost their loved one(s) and valuables, and along with those is hope.

Here's a list of places to donate. Just click on this link.

For those who are willing to participate in the rescue and relief operation of the Philippine National Red Cross (PNRC), call 527-0000 or dial 143.

To donate to PNRC via SMS, text RED <space> amount (10, 25, 50 or 100) to 4483 (Smart) or 2899 (Globe).

To know more about other ways to donate to PNRC, follow this link.

Here's a list of the emergency hotlines, in case of other Ondoy-related emergencies.

After reading a report from ABS-CBN News, I just want to cry! Especially the part where an OFW said "Ginagawa namin ang lahat ng magagawa namin dito dahil gusto naming guminhawa ang buhay dyan. Aanhin namin ang pinagtra-trabahuhan namin dito kung wala na kaming dadatnan dyan." And I am at my office, damn! My eyes are already hurting for trying to keep my tears from falling.

Here's a list of some organizations where we can donate.

Philippine National Red Cross

ABS-CBN Foundation

GMA Kapuso Foundation

Gawad Kalinga

World Food Program

Apl Foundation

National Disaster Coordination Counsel

Ayala Foundation

Please be careful when sending your donations. Sadly enough, there are heartless people who are scamming and pretending to be an organization.

This is how it looks like outside my boarding house last saturday.

Sources:

BakitWhy.com

Philippine National Red Cross